Saturday 4 August 2018

The badass hacker / computer programmer


If technology is not making your life simpler, you are not using it correctly. But for some people, simple is not enough. I recently read about a guy, who has used his coding skills to automate even the most basic chores. His legacy was discovered by his teammates when he left for other company. Here's what they had to say about him.





"The dude was literally living inside his computer. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in  DOT and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something- ------------ anything required more than 90 seconds of his time, he wrote a script to automate that. Here are some of the scripts we found. You're gonna love this:


smack-my-bitch-up.sh  

Sends a text message "late at work" to his wife, and automatically adds an excuse; a randomly picked sentence from a dataset of priorly written excuses. The algorithm is a so-called 'cron-job', executing under specific conditions, at specific times. It was set to activate only after 9pm, and only if there were activities on the server with his login.

(Github link:  NARKOZ/hacker-scripts)


kumar-asshole.sh
Searches the inbox for emails from 'Kumar', a system data-base administrator working for his clients. Looks for dramatic keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If one of these keywords are found, the script automatically makes contact with the clients server and restores the database to the latest back-up. Then it sends an automatic reply to Kumar, saying "No worries mate! Be careful next time!"

(Github link: NARKOZ/hacker-scripts)


hangover.sh

Another 'cron-job'. As you understand, this one is set in the morning, and is activated automatically after 8:45am, in case there are still no interactive sessions detected on the server with his login. So what was it doing?  

It sent automated emails to his boss like: "Hi Boss, Today I'll have to work from home, because..." and then again a random reason was added from a completely different, predefined database of excuses. 

(Github link: NARKOZ/hacker-scripts



fucking-coffee.sh 

This one creates a connection over telnet with the IP-address of ... coffee machine?("We had no frikin idea the coffee machine was connected to our network, neither that it ran Linux, nor that it had the possibility to be activated from a distance"). The script included a password, some delays of 24 and 17, and some other Rubygibberish. It turned out that it could be activated by hitting five keys at the command line (/fuc - TAB - ENTER). 

And then after exactly 17 seconds, this coffee machine started brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte, which together with the brewing and pouring time, made a total of 24 seconds. 

WTF: 24 seconds? 

Apparently he had timed the exact duration of a leisure walk from his desk to the coffee machine...."
(Github link: NARKOZ/hacker-scripts


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Original Russian Post: http://bash.im/quote/436725/



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